Since I’ve been so lethargic about actually starting this blog, I thought it would be appropriate to address my dismay at the pace of our society these days. The constant demands, multi-tasking, rushing hither and thither, frantic rushing, speeding away our lives.
It’s driving me nuts! And I’ve been trying to combat it, but that’s a tough road. If only there was something that could help us all to slow the hell down. Some kind of magical pill or elixir. Something like…
SLOTHZAX!
Do you find yourself in a hurry ALL the time? Feel rushed and harassed by life’s demands? Are you scattered and distraught due to endless multi-tasking?
Maybe you’re ready for Slothzax. Made from the brain cells of genuine tree sloths, Slothzax will slow you the hell down, and in a hurry. Within days of starting Slothzax, you’ll find yourself decelerating to a slower pace of life. You’ll find yourself smelling those roses that you used to run over with the lawnmower. You’ll find time to smile at the hurry and bustle around you while you exist in a peaceful, stress-free bubble of slowness.
Late to work and hitting all the red lights? Not a problem with Slothzax. Didn’t get that report done on time? Who cares? What’s the freaking hurry anyways?
Slothzax. It’s for you. And if you order now, we’ll send you, absolutely free, a year’s subscription to Lethargy Journal.
*Caution: Slothzax may cause extreme irritation in others, may induce road rage events, cause job loss, and create family discord. Take according to directions. Have a slow day!
The preceding wishful thinking was formulated with the help of my friend Deb, who has her own share of Cartoonist’s Mind.
J.R. Herman 